9th WHY – Accountability, The Buck Stops With Me

Accountability IS fundamentally about OWNING your past … it’s not AT ALL that you heading that way – it’s the opposite. It’s like glancing in the rear view mirror when you are hauling heavy stuff forward and cannot afford any bullshit … like a trucker, you check your mirrors to see what kind of traffic is coming up behind you and to check your place in your lane … but your focus still has to be about corrections you need to make GOING FORWARD, driving toward what kind of a person do you want to become.

Just, be sure to have some humility and a sense of humor about yourself!

Examen Discipline About Meta-Cognition

Breaking the bad habits of being ourselves … humility begins with self-awareness, looking in the mirror and being honest about what you see … meditatively thinking about how one’s thinks, feels, acts … getting one’s attitude right … self-coaching on drills, exercises and mobility WODs … autodidactic learning and study habits … going for long walks and paying attention to all of the bullshit, loserthink, rationalizations and the ol’ poor me victimhood that crosses one’s mind and PITCHING THAT NEGATIVE HORSESHIT, rather than spreading it!

Examen DISCIPLINE is about consistently, sustaining an intensely introspective examinations of unproductive behaviors, not just bad habits but less than optimal habits, and various levels of addictions … the daily journal is a bit of a wild, stream of conciousness journal … but that’s not the objective. The final objective or desired destination of an Examen journal is to review the material … you gain insights through the process of making a syllabus of the recorded stream of consciousness discussion in your examen journal, especially as you refine your personal syllabus to make it clear and concise. It’s difficult if not impossible to follow the past thought processes as you look a the journal in the future. Yes, it might spark other thoughts, but when the ideas are disjointed and unconnected, you will struggle to make sense of your own thoughts and the progress possible by examining your own life will escape you.

Originally, almost 500 years ago [in 1548] Examen Discipline was something for Jesuit novitiates based upon St. Ignatious Loyola’s (1491-1556) compilation of Spiritual Exercises. As the founder of the Jesuit order, Loyola’s original plan was to use an intensive training retreat, held over the course of about a month rapidly develop discipline at the beginning of the first year training for those new Jesuit recruits. The Jesuit’s quasi-military approach is a reflection of St. Ignatius Loyola, a soldier and combat veteran of the army of the Holy Roman Empire. If we understand something about Loyola’s family and his approach to being a soldier, we will understand why his Spiritual Exercises would seem like something designed by a boot camp drill instructor to train spiritual warriors for the fiercest spiritual combat imaginable.

However, one does not have to be a Jesuit-in-training to either read and take advantage of the Spiritual Exercises or to develop Examen Discipline over the course of one’s life. In fact, the Examen Discipline is something best developed and sustained over the course of years and ultimately decades rather than a crash course that lasts weeks or months. Increasingly, lay people and even non-Catholics follow the Examen path. The important part is the discipline is not exactly in the intensity of the training; rather, the important part is the sustained, long-term, daily discipline of consistently, persistently, and persistently examining your life and your habits.

For centuries, Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises were most commonly given as a “long retreat” of about 30 days in solitude and silence, but in recent years, especially with better tools for the quantatized self, fitness/diet tracking and lessons learned by others through self-reflection, there has been a renewed, revitalized emphasis on Examen and the approach of the Spiritual Exercises as a program for laypeople. Although it is true that there are many aspects of modern life and our digital technology that can divert us from the Lord’s path, it is also true those same technologies and social interactions can greatly enhance our ability to work on our discipline. It’s just simply a matter of to what end the tools are applied.

Examen discipline is particularly appropriate for anyone interested in overcoming addictions, bad habits, and unproductive behaviors. When we talk about addictions, we are not just talking addictions to prescription meds, illicit drugs or alcohol … which are obviously things to address … but more generally we are talking about addictions to bad behaviours … perhaps behaviours, so ingrained, that we never give them a second thought … UNLESS we use Examen Discipline.

If we think about this just a little, we can see why the need for Examen discipline is not just for Jesuits OR hardcore derelicts or addicts OR people working in addiction recovery programs. The need for Examen discipline is much more general, common or ordinary – it might be for ALL people who are seeking to improve their lives.

We can start off thinking about addictions to things we might take or use, such as those perfectly legal, assumed safe, basically not feared [and probably not taken seriously enough] like the sugarized, professionally addiction-engineered, standard American diet of the supermarket or fast food outlets. But we should also think about how we use or abuse our digital devices and their addiction-engineered monetizable eyeball sticky distractions. And, of course we should think about lifestyles dependent upon the convenience and comfort of vehicles/major appliances with their engineered obsolescence or post-warranty bank account depleting failures. Why do we have to work as hard as we do to afford the nice things we have grown dependent upon?

We should understand that much of the economy in our affluent nations is based upon repeat customers and that companies have big incenctives to engineer or design-in the compelling addictions. It’s not exactly purely malicious on the companies’ part – it’s just part of what is necessary to stay in business. As a result, the list of addiction-engineered products and services goes on and on and it is not just your imagination that really coolest, most must-have things are designed to make you a repeat long-term buying of the next greatest thing since sliced bread. That’s why you will buy these thing and almost before you know you might feel inadequate and unfulfilled because you need the new and improved version. Addicting consumers is how the stuff of the material-worshipping world works.

If you are genuinely seeking to ditch your addictions, pursue self-improvement and discern your spiritual calling the Examen process is something you should look into. It’s certain no an easy button thing, you probably will not feel better right away after starting … in fact, as you get into it, you will probably be scared, intimidated and completely overwhelmed by the challenges of UNexamined behavior patterns that you’ve been ignoring or getting by with … but by diligently going after the things that undermine your success, you will put yourself on the path to a much healthier and more fulfilling life.

Your happiness will be directly correlated with the amount of diligent, serious effort you put into the Examen process … if you just go through the motions to make someone else happy, you will be more miserable and probably deservedly so, for even trying to convince someone you’re trying to improve, all the while knowing that you have no intention of really changing anything, especially if that change is about removing something, eg refrigerator time looking for a favorite snack, that furnishes you with emotional solace when you are feeling beleaguered.

Now … of course, it’s not easy … but relax, try to take it easy as you can and THINK as you do this … meditate or take long walks as you THINK; but as you do, never stop praying! As you are going through this process, you will quickly understand that it’s entirely about YOU and how YOU think about YOU. That kind of thing is something that is more or less supposed to terrify you … or else, you are not really trying …

The introspection is something that you have been doing ALL of your life, well at least until you started drinking your problems away OR turning on the football games to ignore your issues at work or the projects that you would rather not work on. You know your dodges, your escapes, the bad habits of being yourself, so you should factor in your reactions and issues … there’s no need to waste time reinventing some wheel that’s not broken or close enough to being round … fix what’s broken first, then fix or remove the stuff that’s good enough to put up with, but you just haven’t addressed yet … you only have so much time left, so you should prioritize your efforts to knock off the big things first so that you have more time and energy to go after the other things you’re tapering down.

In other words, you should read through all of the following pages … let the material percolate and then read through it again … in all likelihood, after doing that you will want to adapt, revise, re-order and completely re-prioritize this list of 52 weekly topic foci.

Sure, obviously, you can also add new categories that are not on this list of 52 topic areas and take off those that you are not worried about, based on your personal struggles … you should not be restricted to obeying this list; you really have to make it your own so that can spend more of your time on those things that are more urgent and important.

This list is flexible, but it should include all kinds of things that you believe are consistent with the gist of this practice or approximately similar to the 52 weekly topic areas … but YOUR Examen list is YOUR list. This outline is only intended to be the START of your own personalization of YOUR Examen process … making it your own is entirely up to you and if you like, you can start with this list, see how it goes and edit/revise it after you get a few weeks in.

Week 1: Digital Distractions & Focus

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Social media; different platforms are engineered to cater to different kinds of addictions, ie the addiction or stickiness of Facebook or X or LinkedIn are based on totally-different motivations and some of these motivations may be inextricably linked with someone’s friends/family, professional reputation or athletic/creative/writing pursuits

Online Shopping/Auctions, Bargain Hunting, Technical Spec Comparison

Streaming/Binge-watching/Doom-scrolling

Video Games Or Addictive App, eg gambling, daytrading

Excessive News/Social Media Feed Consumption

Smartphone overuse; in general and particular facets

Digital Clutter (emails, files, GitHub/HuggingFace repositories, etc.)

Week 2: Food & Body

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Sugar Cravings, Food Engineering and Standard American Diet Addictions

Disordered Eating Patterns, Lack of Saying Grace, Lack of Gratitude for Food

Emotional Eating Or Using Food As An Emotional Crutch

Overeating and Failures in Appetite Control

Unhealthy Food Purchases and Rationalizations for Irrational Addictions To Cravings

Body Image Issues and Poverty Lifestyles Encouraged by Addictions or Loss of Control

Lack of Exercise, Less Than Useful Exercise Choices, Junk Repetitions and Measurements of Results

Week 3: Relationships & Communication

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Gossip

Criticism/Judgment of Others

Lack of Empathy

Difficulty with Forgiveness

Passive-Aggression

Conflict Avoidance

Poor Listening Skills

Week 4: Productivity & Procrastination

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Procrastination (different areas)

Time Management

Disorganization

Lack of Motivation

Perfectionism

Distractibility

Fear of Failure

Week 5: Emotional Regulation

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Anger Management

Anxiety

Sadness/Depression

Stress

Loneliness

Jealousy/Envy

Low Self-Esteem

Week 6: Financial Health

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Overspending

Impulse Purchases

Debt Management

Lack of Financial Planning

Materialism, Consumerism and Cultural Pressures

Financial Anxiety

Generosity, Caring and Giving vs Guilt-Driven Check-Writing

Week 7: Spiritual Life

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Prayer/Meditation

Scripture Reading/Study

Worship Attendance / Celebrating The Order of The Mass

Serving Others

Forgiveness

Gratitude, Gratitude Practices and Acting With Appreciation Trust in God

Week 8: Self-Care & Well-being

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Sleep, Sleep Hygiene, Sleep Tracking To Measure Effectiveness of Practices

Rest, Relaxation, Power Naps vs Sleep Disrupting Longer Naps

Hobbies/Leisure Activities

Mindfulness

Physical Health

Mental Health

Emotional Health

Week 9: Mindset & Thoughts

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Prayer Practices And Scheduling, The Lord’s Prayer, Contemplating the Mysteries with the Rosary, Novations and Other Models

Limiting Beliefs, Comparison to Others

Overthinking/Rumination

Worry/Fear

Meta-cognition, Cognitive Awareness, Perspective vs Perception

MBSR Meditation Discipline, Breathwork, Mindfulness, Presence

Cultivating Positive Self-Compassion vs Negative Self-Destructive Criticism

Week 10: Substance Use & Addiction

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Alcohol, Marijuana/[Cannabanoids]/(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabinoid), Microdosing

Nicotine, Caffeine, Sugar, Vaping, Other LegalStimulants

Prescription Drugs, eg benzodiazepines, opioids, etc.

Illicit Drugs, Drug Cultures and Addictive Cultures

Behavioral Addictions (gambling, daytrading, sports betting, etc.)

Triggers and Cravings

Relapse Prevention

Week 11: Work & Career

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Work-Life Balance

Burnout, Overwork, Workaholism, Over-scheduling

Procrastination at Work

Job Dissatisfaction

Career Goals/Purpose

Difficult Coworkers

Setting Boundaries

Week 12: Personal Growth & Development

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

Learning New Skills, Doing Hard Things

Stepping Outside Comfort Zone, Embracing The Suck

Reading, Technologies To Accelerate Reading, Autodidactic Education

Creativity, Necessity is the Mother of Invention

Self-Reflection, The Examen Process, The Daily Examen, The Weekly Examen

Goal Setting, SMART Objectives, Action Plans,The Eisenhower Matrix, The Pomodoro Technique

Embracing and Seeking Change, The Necessity of Aggravation, Building a Reputation For Stepping Up

Week 13: Environmental Responsibility

Suggested Daily Subtopic Foci:

LEAN Thinking, Reducing Waste, Especially Wasted Time and Wasted Ideas/POVs

Recycling or not recycling, but mindfully making informed choices for the highest and best use of resources, even cast-off resources and minimizing the amount of garbage generated

Conserving Resources For Their Highest and Best Possible Use

Sustainable, Independent, Less Frail Lifestyle

Gardening, Permaculture Landscaping, Appreciation for Nature

Environmental Advocacy and Advocacy for Local Food Resilence and Abundant Life

Minimalism, Asceticism, Durability and Fitness

Week 14. Fear of Success:

• Imposter Syndrome * Self-Sabotage * Procrastinating on “Big” Goals * Fear of Visibility/Attention * Downplaying Achievements * Settling for Less * Comfort in the Familiar

Week 15. Perfectionism as a Shield:

• Using Perfectionism to Avoid Completion * Fear of Making Mistakes * Overthinking and Analysis Paralysis * Procrastination Disguised as “Preparation” * Unrealistic Standards * Difficulty Delegating * Never Feeling “Good Enough”

Week 16. “Busy” as an Excuse:

• Over-scheduling to Avoid Inner Work * Using Activity to Numb Emotions * Saying “Yes” to Everything * Lack of Prioritization * The “Martyr Complex” * Fear of Stillness/Quiet * Distraction from True Priorities

Week 17. Relationship Patterns that Distract:

• Repeatedly Attracting Unavailable Partners * Staying in Unhealthy Relationships * Codependency & Enabling * Fear of Intimacy * Conflict Avoidance * People-Pleasing * Seeking Validation from Others

Week 18. Money as a Crutch:

• Overspending to Fill a Void * Hoarding Wealth/Fear of Scarcity * Using Money for Status/Security * Materialism & Consumerism * Financial Dependence on Others * Workaholism for Financial Gain *, Replacing Guilt-Driven Checkwriting With Generosity

Week 19. “Helping” That Hinders:

• Over-giving to Avoid Own Needs * Enabling Others’ Bad Habits * Rescuing Others from Consequences * Seeking Fulfillment Through Fixing Others * Difficulty Setting Boundaries * Taking on Too Much Responsibility * “Co-dependent Helping”

Week 20. Physical Neglect as a Distraction:

• Neglecting Physical Health * Poor Diet & Exercise Habits * Sleep Deprivation * Ignoring Body Signals * Using Substances to Cope * Disconnection from the Body * Somatization of Stress

Week 21. Creative Avoidance:

• Fear of Expressing True Self * Procrastinating on Creative Projects * Self-Doubt & Criticism * Perfectionism in Creative Pursuits * Comparing to Others * “Not Good Enough” Mentality * Blocking Creative Flow

Week 22. Spiritual Bypassing:

• Using Spirituality to Avoid Difficult Emotions * Intellectualizing Spiritual Concepts * Judgmental or Dogmatic Attitudes * Spiritual Pride * Lack of Self-Compassion * Ignoring Shadow Self * Disconnection from Embodied Spirituality

Week 23. Fear of Vulnerability:

• Difficulty Sharing Feelings * Hiding Authentic Self * Fear of Rejection/Criticism * Maintaining a “Facade” * Difficulty Asking for Help * Suppressing Emotions * Isolation/Loneliness

Week 24. Procrastination in Disguise:

• “Researching” Instead of Doing * Planning Excessively * Waiting for the “Perfect” Time * Starting Many Projects, Finishing Few * Distracting with Less Important Tasks * Fear of Commitment * Overwhelm Leading to Inaction

Week 25. The Comfort of Complaining:

• Chronic Negativity * Focusing on Problems * Victim Mentality * Gossip & Criticism * Blaming Others * Resisting Change * Draining Energy of Self and Others

Week 26. Addiction to Drama:

• Creating Chaos/Conflict * Thriving on Intensity * Attracting/Engaging in Drama * Emotional Rollercoaster * Fear of Boredom/Stability * Attention-Seeking Behavior * Difficulty with Healthy Boundaries

Week 27. Fear of the Unknown:

• Resisting Change & New Experiences * Staying in Comfort Zone * Fear of Failure/Risk * Clinging to the Familiar * Limiting Beliefs About Possibilities * Lack of Trust in the Process * “Playing it Safe”

Week 28. The “Shoulds” & Expectations:

• Living According to Others’ Expectations * Internalized “Shoulds” & Rules * Ignoring Own Needs & Desires * People-Pleasing * Perfectionism * Fear of Disapproval * Loss of Authenticity

Week 29. Entitlement & Victimhood:

• Blaming Others for Circumstances * Feeling “Owed” Something * Lack of Accountability * Expecting Special Treatment * Manipulating Others * Resisting Feedback * Difficulty with Gratitude

Week 30. Ignoring Intuition:

• Doubting Inner Guidance * Overthinking Decisions * Seeking External Validation * Fear of Making the “Wrong” Choice * Ignoring Gut Feelings * Disconnection from Inner Wisdom * Living from the Head, Not the Heart

Week 31. Control as a Defense:

• Micromanaging * Need for Certainty & Predictability * Difficulty with Surrender * Fear of Loss of Control * Rigidity & Inflexibility * Anxiety & Stress * Difficulty with Trust

Week 32. Fear of Intimacy ( Deeper Dive):

• Emotional Unavailability * Difficulty with Vulnerability * Sabotaging Close Relationships * Fear of Abandonment * Keeping People at a Distance * Using “Walls” as Protection * Longing for Connection, but Fearing It

Week 33. Shadow Work:

• Identifying & Integrating Shadow Aspects * Acknowledging “Negative” Emotions * Working with Shame & Guilt * Understanding Projections * Embracing the “Dark Side” * Self-Forgiveness & Acceptance * Wholeness & Integration

Week 34. Inner Child Work:

• Connecting with Inner Child Needs * Healing Childhood Wounds * Re-Parenting the Self * Addressing Trauma * Self-Compassion & Nurturing * Playfulness & Joy * Inner Freedom

Week 35. Boundaries & Self-Respect:

• Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships * Saying “No” * Protecting Energy & Time * Honoring Own Needs & Values * Assertiveness * Self-Care * Respecting Others’ Boundaries

Week 36. Authenticity & Self-Expression:

• Living in Alignment with True Self * Expressing Needs & Desires * Embracing Uniqueness * Creative Expression * Speaking Truth * Vulnerability * Self-Acceptance

Week 37. Forgiveness & Letting Go:

• Forgiving Self & Others * Releasing Resentments * Healing from Past Hurts * Letting Go of Grudges * Compassion & Empathy * Freedom from the Past * Moving Forward

Week 38. Gratitude & Appreciation:

• Cultivating a Gratitude Practice * Appreciating the Present Moment * Focusing on Blessings * Shifting Perspective * Positive Mindset * Joy & Contentment * Abundance Mentality

Week 39. Surrender & Trust:

• Letting Go of Control * Trusting the Process * Faith & Spirituality * Acceptance * Flow & Ease * Openness to Guidance * Inner Peace

Week 40. Mindfulness & Presence:

• Cultivating Present Moment Awareness * Observing Thoughts & Emotions * Non-Judgmental Awareness * Meditation & Contemplation * Mindful Living * Reducing Stress & Anxiety * Inner Stillness

Week 41. Self-Compassion & Kindness:

• Treating Self with Kindness & Understanding * Challenging Inner Critic * Self-Forgiveness * Acceptance of Imperfections

Week 42. Discernment & Decision-Making:

• Tuning in to Inner Wisdom * Recognizing Intuition vs. Fear * Weighing Options with Clarity * Trusting the Process of Decision-Making * Making Aligned Choices * Taking Action with Confidence * Releasing Attachment to Outcomes

Week 43. Purpose & Meaning:

• Exploring Values & Passions * Identifying Core Beliefs * Uncovering Life Purpose * Finding Meaning in Everyday Life * Aligning Actions with Purpose * Contributing to Something Greater * Living a Life of Significance

Week 44. Service & Contribution:

• Identifying Unique Gifts & Talents * Using Strengths to Serve Others * Finding Ways to Make a Difference * Volunteering & Giving Back * Acts of Kindness & Compassion * Leaving a Positive Impact * Creating a Legacy

Week 45. Releasing the Past:

• Identifying Limiting Beliefs from the Past * Healing Old Wounds & Traumas * Forgiving Self & Others * Letting Go of Regret & Resentment * Moving Forward with Freedom * Embracing the Present Moment * Creating a New Future

Week 46. Embracing Change & Uncertainty:

• Developing Resilience & Adaptability * Stepping Outside Comfort Zone * Embracing New Experiences & Challenges * Trusting the Unknown * Letting Go of Fear & Resistance * Growth & Transformation * Living with Courage & Curiosity

Week 47. Cultivating Joy & Playfulness:

• Finding Joy in Everyday Life * Engaging in Playful Activities * Connecting with Inner Child * Laughter & Lightheartedness * Releasing Seriousness * Spontaneity & Fun * Celebrating Life

Week 48. Self-Acceptance & Love:

• Embracing Imperfections * Practicing Self-Compassion * Celebrating Strengths & Uniqueness * Challenging Negative Self-Talk * Cultivating Self-Love & Appreciation * Inner Peace & Harmony * Radiating Love Outward

Week 49. Building Healthy Relationships:

• Communicating Effectively * Setting Healthy Boundaries * Cultivating Empathy & Compassion * Practicing Active Listening * Resolving Conflict Constructively * Nurturing Supportive Connections * Creating Loving & Fulfilling Relationships

Week 50. Living with Integrity:

• Aligning Actions with Values * Being True to Self * Honesty & Authenticity * Keeping Commitments * Taking Responsibility * Living with Courage & Conviction * Inspiring Trust & Respect

Week 51. Gratitude for the Journey:

• Appreciating Life’s Lessons & Experiences * Acknowledging Growth & Progress * Celebrating Achievements * Embracing Challenges as Opportunities * Finding Gratitude in Every Moment * Living with Joy & Fulfillment * Inspiring Others

Week 52. Continuing the Journey:

• The Mental Discipline of Maintaining a Growth Mindset * Committing to Ongoing Self-Reflection * Practicing Daily Examen * Seeking Support & Community * Embracing Lifelong Learning * Living with Purpose & Passion * Sharing Wisdom & Inspiring Others

This extended list provides an EXAMPLE of a comprehensive framework for your year of intense focus. It’s not YOUR example, so you have to make it yours by adapting it to your unique needs and priorities. As you progress through your list of Examen topics each year, you will need to be open to new insights and discoveries about yourself and your true calling … so that when you work on your Examen process in the following year, you can be more diligent and precisely focused on your needs and God’s particular unique expectations for your life.

This deep inner work is a powerful journey of transformation. Be patient with yourself, ie you will fail and there will be times when you fill inadequate or not really up to the demands of leading your life, but don’t give in to the temptation to second-guess your Creator … celebrate your struggles, failures, doubts and you might even boldly, but privately take some of the credit for your progress … trust that you will LEAD a life of greater purpose, fulfillment, and authenticity.