An imperfect child of God 🌟 attempting to become an empath🧎🏾 who cannot possibly ever communicate how GRATEFUL he is to our Creator for every moment of his existence! Philippians 4:8-9

PREFACE

This whole post is like a Preface to a book … you can safely skip it … of course, you can safely skip the rest of my autobiographical content also … this post is about WHY.

TBD Editing/Revision I need to ADD/SIMPLIFY with a FULL ISHIKAWA OUTLINE of the WHYS driving my WHY … this needs to be solidified into coherent five whys bullet-pointed outline of every WHY driving the MAIN WHY.

I will be editing and revising this post for the full year. And next year, I will pick up where I left off, editing and revising … because my WHY is something that I will never be finished pondering.

The Full Ishikawa of WHYS or Interest Shaping My WHY

Art

The reason that I care about Art is …

Why

Contemplation

The reason that I care about Contemplation is …

Why

History

The reason that I care about History is …

Why

Games

The reason that I care about COMPETITIVE GAMES and SPORTS is …

Why

Ventures

The main reason that I care about Ventures is the inherent PHILANTHROPY and COMMUNITY SERVICE of well-organized, growing, self-sustaining ventures which employ people doing interesting things to deliver better products and services than are otherwise available and provide better than average returns to investors because the entities are growing and getting better at everything they do

Why or Why Not Something Else

Why not just work for somebody else?

Why not engage in what I view as the *idiot compassion” forms of philanthropy?

Why

Workouts

The reason that I care about Workouts is … I have FINALLY come to understand that I need exercise … and I need a variety of different exercises for a variety of different reasons that I don’t even understand yet. Exercise is like the food that you eat that becomes what drives the health of your intestinal microbiome … which is what FIRST digests the nutrients and gives your cells what they need. I believe that exercise is more important than diet … also you really need both … as well as good sleep hygiene … and the ability to handle and channel stress and aggaravation … and hydration … but MOSTLY, it’s about what you take away … with exercise, we DELIBERATELY take away comfort … we do HARD things in order to BUILD our muscoskeletal system, our cardiovasular system and to build our courage, will, and discipline.

Why

The Fundamental WHY of my WHYs

Stronger, more courageous, less afraid

This whole existence is all about Joshua 1.9 … I am commanded to make myself stronger, more courageous, to be less afraid – so life is kind of simple, sort of … I don’t have to impress anyone or care about what any other human thinks – I have to pull my weight, pay my bills and sort of more or less get along – I don’t have to impress anyone, ie I don’t have to jump out of planes or do ridiculuous shit on mountain slopes … I just have to be anonymous and READY … my whole existence is about no having any fear of a fight … of course, I look forward to dying and always have been ready to die in any fight that actually meant something, BUT I’m not some lame ass who acts out of pride … my existence is about following the command that my Creator has given me.

Sure, now that I getting older I do actually start to worry a little bit about ever becoming worried … and that fear is driven by thoughts of becoming feeble … so, it has taken me a long time to be responsible about it, but I am finally starting to understand why I actually might need to pay attention to things like my health and healthcare.

I am not now sick … I have gotten significantly healthier over the last fifteen years, ever since retiring when I was 49 in 2009 … in late 2014 or early 2015, I could justifiably say that I was much healthier than five years 2009, but my health was not that perfect then. In 2014/2015, I still came down with pretty severe case of influenza – not something that would have kept me home from work, but it was one of those noticeable and lasting bouts with the flu that kinda threatened to get worse. But I got better and didn’t really ever get sick any more – so that by 2019 or 2020, I could say that I had gone five years without ever being sick … now, in 2024 I’m quite a bit healthier than I was five years ago in 2019. But I am still nowhere close to being as fit as I will need to be for the next 50 years [or however long it takes for me to die] … the POINT is that I really want to die quickly, as a healthy man dies, not after circling the drain for years … so I will need to work harder make myself stronger, more courageous, and less afraid.

I do not spend a dime on healthcare insurance or doctors visits. NOT ONE DIME.

I actually AM much stronger, more courageous, less afraid than the TYPICAL 64 year old … although I am far, Far, FAR from being as fit as need to be.

I really need to work harder on myself … to make myself stronger, more courageous, and less afraid … and that is going to require the DISCIPLINE of a plan, sticking with that plan and constantly re-vising and improving the implementation of that plan … there’s no other way than the DISCIPLINE of improving DISCIPLINE of implementing a better plan.

DISCIPLINE EQUALS FREEDOM

A Better, ie MORE DISCIPLINED, Plan Starts with BETTER Knowing The WHY of the Plan

I just always thought that my WHY was to be the GENUINE me that I knew I was supposed to be.

I did not exactly know who that ME was supposed to be … so I experimented and tried different things … until about the time was coming up on my fiftieth birthday and I knew that enough was enough … there’s no point in showing for somebody else’s agenda; it was time to focus EXCLUSIVELY on my own things.

I do KNOW with absolute certainty that my WHY has absolutely nothing to to live like other people or just conforming to their choices … you could say that radical NONconformance, in search of a better way is most of my WHY … and the other part of that WHY is about being a better example on that radical NONconformance.

I understand now why my WHY needs to be more about being a BETTER example of my WHY … of course, I don’t EXACTLY know my WHY yet … nobody ever does know something like that EXACTLY – this existence is about pondering that WHY.

The Past Pondering of the WHY OR How I Got to Where I Am Now

Of course, I respect other choices and others WHYs, but I not other people and they are not me. We are free to choose amongst the best examples. But small-minded gossips, karens and idiots do think that way. So I get PISSED OFF REALLY QUICK when idiots shift in into their hardcore community-idiot-enforcer mode of behavior and assume that I am supposed to value their choices and their WHYs highly enough to be envious of them or to want to be like they are. We are DIFFERENT. Our Creator has set up the shuffling mechanism of every event since the start of the Universe to ensure that we have become UNIQUE. The UNIQUENESS is one of the most amazing things about being alive … only IDIOTS would want to sell out their uniqueness in order to conform to community standards of like minded people.

I look at other people’s lives and I tend to think those lives are fine for them, but that’s not exactly what I want, but there are pieces that I will emulate. I respect and love other people’s choices – but that does not equate to a desire to emulate … I do not necessarily want other people to emulate my example, but if it becomes necessary as a matter of self-defense I will KILL PEOPLE if they go too far in making a point of not allowing people to express their unique individuality.

Instead of a family or having related people surrounding me, I always craved different life experiences … I have never had any wish to have children or a family. Of course, I wanted see myself as being responsible or accountable for my choices, so I thought that if I got a woman pregnant, I would try be the best father I could be – but I was not interested in marriage, but I get how society and culture is based upon the sanctity of marriage … at an early point in my life, my goal was to be an intelligence office, but as I understood things about wars and warfight, my interest shifting to being a game theorist, an academic theoretician working food and biowarfare policy … it’s NOT about being a threat; rather, it’s about understanding and mitigating threats.

I have never wanted to do any crime or somehow hurt anyone, but I did want to understand what it’s like to face life in prison so I have participated in various forms of prison ministries – I might end up in prison some day for some sort of political activity or form of expression that makes people think, ie when thoughtcrimes become a punishable offense … I was never particularly anxious to preclude other options, including the option to just walk away from what I was doing, but I wanted to UNDERSTAND the experiences from the inside, so recently for example, I wanted to understand what it’s like to be a cross-country truck driver, so I tried it until I understood that I tended to tire mentally after physically resting in the drivers seat, so after a certain age, one becomes an unsafe long-distance driver even if one is meticulously scrupulous about diet, exercise and preparation

I wanted to understand machining as well as tool and die work and the construction of fixtures and work-holding equipment; I still work in that realm … I was interested in understanding the soil and farming, even though I never really cared about the machinery side of farming; I still raise some of my own food and love soil ecosystems … I also continue to be multidisciplinary engineer working on multidisciplinary projects and philanthropies … I have never craved and still do not craved being respected/revered as a professional or expert in any matter – in fact, I find that I DETEST the arrogance of experts but I might detest people who BLINDLY trust experts even more than that. I can only put up with the unwarranted aura of trust for so long before being surrounded by the trusters of professionals or experts really gets on my nerves.

My WHY is not somebody else’s WHY; I respect their WHYs, but NOBODY else’s WHY is going to universally applicable to others … in my example, I don’t particularly want longevity … I don’t exactly believe that eternity or any life after this one is remotely similar to this life … but I LOVE my Creator, so I very much look forward to dying and whatever comes thereafter as much as I look forward to figuring out more things about this life and being in more control of my health.