Yeah, I know this article about where to retire is clickbait … so DO NOT click on that link … except it doesn’t really matter, am a sucker for this kind of thing because I am almost 65 and I am curious if OTHERS get the reasons for why I truly believe that I retired to the right state FOR ME.

I retired in order to go back to my roots, because I’m curious about what I missed … because when I was twenty, I LEFT my roots in order to have different experiences … I had those different experiences and I am a VERY different person now … but I still hillbilly up when I have to and pretend to be the person that people thought I was when I was a kid.

Maybe, it’s like my Holstein-Frisian heritage, at least genetic-wise … DNA over environment or nature over nurture … I can’t help myself but be curious about my heritage … sure I don’t actually have a dairy barn, but I have been DEEP into the AI for about 50 years, ie, the nitrogen tank kind of AI with a plastic sleeve … so as any former member of an FFA judging team, I do like to look over an attractive set of tits, all four of them.

According to this article, Iowa is NINTH best state to retire … mainly because Iowa is THE state that is great for people who don’t still need to work … which is both true AND funny … because jobs here will pay you 1/10th or less of what you would earn elsewhere … if you can find an employer who even has the beginning of understanding of WTF an engineer like you does, eg [TRUE STORY] “I dunno … maybe, one guy could have SAVED is employer $837K/yr in just one project, like you claim … but we ain’t even never seen a project worth that much money total in one year” … and I did not claim it, the savings had to be VERIFIED by a company accountant, or my verifiable certification wouldn’t have been granted … there’s NO claim about it, but if you’re too stupid to understand how it could be possible to take costs out of your backward inbred operation, you are going to hire lawn-mower jockies who are related to the other lawn-mower jockies you have and thinking that they have a team technical aptitudes in optimizing machinery.

So, although there are exceptions, almost NOBODY really moves TO Iowa in order to find a better job … Iowa’s an okay place to retire if you can do most of your own maintenance and repairs.

The population of peepholes in Iowa over 65 is 566,400 … or about one person out of every five probably should be in a nursing home or some sort of assisted-living eldercare program … which explains why Iowans tend to be exceptionally idea-averse. They like to imagine they are conservative or risk-averse, except that because their minds are stuck in the 1990s or 1980s looking backward in the direction of the 1970s or 1960s … so actually, their neurons have calcified into fragile, risk-seeking fossilly dust … which is perfect for customers who like to watch too much teevee, Netflix and/or YouTube videos [replaying old teevee shows] … and thus, do not actually have anything like ideas until a lowest common denominator idea-explanator, eg Tucker Carlson, has chewed, regurgitated, swallowed again, then re-chewed finally explained the idea, ie like pre-chewed food for nursing home patients, except more annoying if one has to carry on a conversation … YES … every last thing is like explaining and re-explaining something about computers work, ie like why it’s necessary to save files, to my mother in the 80s … so I well-recognize the symptoms of excessive worrying and the tendency toward over-insurancification of every last outlier of a possibility of a risk.

Iowa is often considered to be one of the many cultural melting pots in the US … which is hysterically absurd, ie if you want something LIKE A cultural melting pot, you could do what I did when I moved my pot to be melted by the Phillips Neighborbood in S Mpls [where the George Floyd riots happened, next to Little Mogadishu] … if that doesn’t make your culture melt, then you do something else that I did … try moving your medicine show on out to the rez in the Dakotas for a couple years … OR you could travel in SE Asia doing supplier development engineering and see if that quenches your desire to EVER travel or EVER eat in fancy restaurants EVER again, ie IT DID! NO … there ARE cultural melting pots out there, like in the hotels/convenience stores owned by ambitious Indians and Pakistanis, employing Hispanics and heavily-tatted trailertrash and maybe some illegal Syrians, serving communities bordering Native American communities in the SW … but Iowa is not one bit remotely close to being a cultural melting pot … and buying colorful multi-cultural potholders from from the missionaries at your local church of high-temperature peer-pressure melterers does not count.

Somehow, this article even manages sto claim that UNESCO has even given this STATE their very own name as the “CITY of Literature” … calling this STATE a CITY … is that like calling one’s favorite seaPORT or airPORT a “HOME Away From HOME” … maybe someone assigned to produce this thing came across some UNESCO factoid floating around in the pool of Iowa CITY’s promotional tourist literature … but nobody goes to any CITY in Iowa to produce Literature any more … nowadays, Literature produces, re-writes and factchecks itself before it’s ingested into an AI training model to be regurgitated in AI fashion, maybe more like Holstein-Frisian sleeve-deep kind of AI tickling of the fancies … it’s all just an infinite loop of regurgitation and regurgitated regurgitation.